We all want to become charming people who attract others’ attention and admiration. No one wants to become an obnoxious person who is annoying and offensive, causing disgust and dislike through their behavior. However, we frequently lose our charm and turn into repulsive people in our everyday lives.

For example, if we are stubbornly self-righteous, we will inevitably become abominable people who ignore other people’s opinions. Indeed, no one will find such a person charming if they firmly believe they are right and all others are wrong, refusing to listen to different voices.

The same thing happens when we are ideologically obsessed and driven by dogmatism, whether political or religious. When we are flexible and open to compromise, we can become charming people who are favorites among friends and colleagues. If we are rigid and obstinate, however, no one will like us, and we are doomed to become social pariahs.

If we constantly harbor grudges and resentment, and thus if we are full of hate and desire for revenge, we will become unappealing people as well. If we are obsessed with the past rather than being future-oriented, we will become unpleasant, too. The same thing applies to those who indulge in factional skirmishes, never caring about the future of their country. Indeed, who would find such people charming?

If we are narrow-minded and our perception is monochromatic, rather than colorful or diverse, others will shun us, and we will be hopelessly isolated. If our mindset is parochial, not global, we will lose friends and supporters. If we are prejudiced against different cultures and skin colors, we will be labeled as ultranationalists and racists. On the contrary, if we are open-minded and generous toward differences and diversity, we will be welcomed and hailed wherever we go.

If we are avaricious and materialistic, we will also not be charming. We should not be subjugated by profit-driven mindsets or hedonism. We are not supposed to act like the “nouveau riche” or exhibit “sudden wealth syndrome.” We should know that there are more precious things than money in our lives. Although we may not have excess cash, we can still donate to charitable causes. Surely, that will make us charming people.

If we do not have moral integrity, dignity or decency, we will not be charming people either. Under any circumstances, we should not lose these three virtues, which are the fundamentals of humanity. In addition, we should have a strong sense of responsibility for what we do. However, we often find ourselves deficient in those virtues.

For example, our history books tell us that in the 17th century, foreign soldiers forcibly took many Korean women to their country as sex slaves after winning a war with Korea. When the captive women later returned to Korea, our male ancestors refused to accept them because they thought the women brought disgrace to the family by losing their chastity.

In the eyes of the women, however, it must have been outrageous because the men should have felt a keen sense of responsibility for the suffering women, for it was their incompetence that caused the tragic incident. Instead of denouncing the women, they should have asked for forgiveness and embraced the women who had survived the indescribable ordeals. If they had realized it and acted accordingly, they could have been charming people.

The same principle applies to Korea’s global image. Recently, the rise of Korean pop culture has made Korea a charming destination that captures international attention. However, if the Korean people do not reflect that same charm, this favorable image will eventually fade. To prevent this, our manners should be courteous and refined, and our mindset must be global and broad.

In addition, we must remain loyal to our allies. Korea's geopolitical situation is uniquely complicated and presents an ongoing dilemma: how to stay loyal to distant allies without provoking nearby adversaries. Nevertheless, we must never behave opportunistically or act as though our allegiances are fluid. We need to take a clear stance; otherwise, we risk losing crucial allies who would stand by us in times of trouble.

Furthermore, if we are not grateful for the help we have received from other countries in times of crisis, we will be graceless people. And no country will come to rescue us if we are invaded by hostile forces in the future. Therefore, it would be highly inconsiderate and inappropriate if the Korean people shouted, “US troops, out!” on Liberation Day. As is well known, it was America that liberated Korea from Japanese occupation in 1945. It was also US troops that immediately came to rescue us when the Korean War broke out in 1950. Korea’s economic prosperity, too, was initially due to America’s financial aid and support.

We want to be charming people, not abhorrent ones. For that purpose, we should act accordingly and refrain from doing disgraceful things.

Kim Seong-kon

Kim Seong-kon is a professor emeritus of English at Seoul National University and a visiting scholar at Dartmouth College. The views expressed here are the writer's own. — Ed


khnews@heraldcorp.com