Don’t say 'others have it worse' to someone with depression, Koreans say

“There are people who have it worse” is the last thing many South Koreans with depression want to hear.

A recent national survey has found that phrases often meant as encouragement are frequently received as hurtful by those dealing with depression.

The Korean Society of Clinical Depression polled 1,195 adults in September, asking which statements felt most comforting or harmful when directed at people experiencing depression. Topping the list of negative responses was the phrase “There are people who have it worse than you,” identified by 77 percent of participants as emotionally damaging.

“This research shows that individuals with depression respond differently to words of encouragement than the general public,” said Dr. Huh Youn, professor of family medicine at Uijeongbu Eulji Medical Center, who participated in analyzing the findings. “Even well-intentioned advice can come across as dismissive or burdensome.”

Instead, Huh emphasized that the most helpful communication is not advice but “unconditional support, empathy and emotional acceptance.”

Other commonly cited phrases that respondents found hurtful included:

In contrast, emotionally validating language was far more effective. More than 80 percent of respondents said they felt comforted by:

To better understand how people’s own mental health influenced their reactions, the survey included a brief assessment using the Patient Health Questionnaire-2, a two-question screening tool used to identify potential symptoms of depression. Of the 488 respondents (40.8 percent) who showed signs of depression, 86.9 percent said “There are people who have it worse” felt hurtful, significantly higher than the 68.8 percent among those without symptoms.

According to the study, gender also shaped how emotional language was received. Women were more likely to find reassurance in empathetic expressions such as “You’re not alone” or “We’ll get through this together,” while men tended to react more neutrally. The researchers noted that tailoring support to the individual’s emotional context may be more important than relying on generic encouragement.

These findings arrive amid a concerning rise in depression and anxiety diagnoses across South Korea. According to data from the National Health Insurance Service, more than 2 million people received treatment for these conditions in 2024. Depression cases alone have risen 32.9 percent since 2020, climbing from around 830,000 to over 1.1 million.

The most dramatic increase was seen in children under 10, where diagnoses surged by 118.2 percent. Experts point to post-pandemic isolation, disrupted development, and academic pressure as likely factors.