'Mom,' 'dad' the most frequently used words in suicide notes

Mentions of parenthood — both references to one’s parents and to oneself as a parent — were the most common phrases in suicide notes written by people who died by suicide between 2013 and 2020, a recent study found.

Hundreds of notes were analyzed by the state-affiliated Korea Foundation for Suicide Prevention and the Korea Advanced Institute of Science and Technology, which identified the most frequently used words.

Terms referring to mothers (such as “mom,” “mother” or “dear mother”) appeared 522 times, accounting for 3.5 percent of all nouns in the notes. Words referring to fathers appeared 414 times, accounting for 3 percent of all nouns.

Researchers also examined 246 notes left by individuals who took their own lives after killing family members. Mentions of mothers appeared 246 times (3.5 percent), followed by 149 mentions of fathers (2.1 percent).

While both types of notes most frequently mentioned parents, other common nouns differed. “Money” accounted for 1.7 percent of nouns in notes left by those who died by suicide after committing murder.

In contrast, for other suicides, the third most common noun was “people” (1.7 percent), followed by “son” (1.6 percent), “words" or "talk” (1.6 percent) and “family” (1.2 percent).

Researchers analyzed the emotions expressed in each type of note. Those related to murder-suicides were dominated by anger, agitation, anxiety, fear, hatred and distrust. Most cases involving the killing of one’s children mentioned the children’s physical problems, while those involving the killing of parents cited the burden of caregiving. Both types prominently mentioned financial hardship.

In contrast, typical suicide notes most often expressed love, gratitude, sadness and consideration.

The study reported that 102,538 people here died by suicide between 2013 and 2020, including 416 who killed themselves after committing murder. Among those who died by suicide after killing their children, 37.1 percent were in their 30s and 35 percent were in their 40s. Among those who killed their parents before dying by suicide, 40 percent were in their 50s and 34.3 percent were in their 40s.

If you’re thinking about self-harm or suicide, contact the Ministry of Health and Welfare’s helpline at 109, available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please request a translator for English-language services.