When someone you personally know passes away, how do you mourn? For some, posting about it on social media, particularly Instagram, has become a part of the mourning process.
Following the death of actor Song Jae-rim on Nov. 12, the platform was flooded with tributes. Friends and colleagues posted memories and heartfelt messages.
For instance, broadcaster Hong Seok-cheon shared his sorrow on Instagram.
“I am heartbroken that I will never see your wonderful smile again... I failed to care for you better, and now I must let you go without even saying goodbye. I’m so sorry, over and over again... I was a terrible 'hyeong' (older brother to a man in Korean). Rest in peace, my dear friend,” he said.
The post was accompanied by a selfie of the two.
Actor Jung Il-woo also expressed his grief on Instagram, writing, “Hyeong, be happy in heaven. I am so sorry. We shall meet again.” Jung had starred alongside Song in the 2012 MBC drama "Moon Embracing the Sun."
These public expressions of grief have recently sparked debate across Korean online forums.
Some argue that mourning should be a private matter, questioning the intention of such public displays of sorrow. Others view it as a natural evolution of mourning as real life and social media have become further intertwined -- a way for younger generations to commemorate their loved ones.
This debate extends beyond celebrity deaths as ordinary people, too, are increasingly using social media, especially Instagram, to share their grief.
Let them mourn as they wish
People who have no problem seeing others grieve online say it is just a new form of mourning that has developed as digital spaces and real life have become more integrated.
“Fans of celebrities often post memorials on Instagram because they can't attend their idols' funerals in person. It’s not strange,” Oh Yoon-joo, 37, an office worker in Seoul, said. “If someone doesn’t like those posts, they can scroll past them. It’s strange that some people get upset or even block others over it.”
Choi Hyun-jin, 28, also believes that it's just a way for people to express their feelings these days.
“Obituaries were once printed in newspapers, right? With social media’s rise, this has just become the new way of mourning and announcing a death,” Choi said.
Instagram has acknowledged the shift by enabling users to mourn and remember the deceased. The social media giant offers a feature that memorializes an account after the account holder passes away. This process is initiated when a family member or friend submits proof of death, such as an obituary or death certificate.
Once memorialized, the word, "Remembering," appears next to the username, and no one can log into the account. All existing posts and videos remain visible to the original audience.
Several K-pop stars’ accounts have been memorialized, including that of singer Moonbin of Astro, who passed away last year. The accounts of the late SHINee member Jonghyun, singer-actress Sulli, and singer Goo Hara have also been converted into memorial accounts.
On Moonbin’s account, many fans continue to mourn his death, even more than a year after his passing. One comment on his photo read, "19 months without you, my love."
The Korea Herald conducted a poll on this issue via Instagram Stories in which 1,266 users participated. Of these, 518 said they view grief-related Instagram posts as a new way of mourning, while 748 considered them to lack genuine grief.
Although the majority expressed skepticism about such posts, those who supported them were more willing to share their perspective in detail, highlighting how the practice can provide comfort to people navigating difficult times.
Instagram user @angelc_______ remarked, “The loss of someone can be an isolating experience, so for some, it can be comforting.”
Similarly, user @rosiefaltue._ said, “Posting about grief and mourning is about getting support in a time where it feels really lonely and hard. It’s a way of connecting and preserving their memory. I see no problem with it.”
Why make it so public?
Those who are against the idea of mourning on social media say that mourning is something that should be kept to oneself and not be done so publicly.
“If it’s genuine mourning, it can be done quietly on your own,” said Ko Hyun-kyung, 34. “There seem to be too many people posting just to say, ‘Look how considerate I am.’”
A user on Blind, an anonymous platform for discussing one's employer, questioned why some people mourn publicly. Many commented that these posts seem attention-seeking.
“Definitely an attention-seeker. I don’t get why they feel the need to post about mourning just to show others. I blocked everyone who posted like that,” one Blind user commented.
“People with a lot of followers usually post such stories, and it makes me wonder: ‘Are they really mourning, though?’” another added.
Even K-pop stars are not immune to doubts about their true intentions.
K-pop star Umji of girl group Viviz was criticized for posting photos of Moonbin after his death. In May last year, local news outlets reported that she received hateful comments, such as: “It seems like showing off her friendship is more important than the death of her friend. She probably didn’t even know her friend was sick,” and, “Why is she posting when even Sua (Moonbin’s sister and a member of K-pop group Billlie) is staying quiet?”
Pressure points delves into the seemingly trivial, yet surprisingly contentious topics that spark debate in our everyday lives. -- Ed.
