Last year was a great year for my wife Jakyung and I, with the highlight being nearly 3 weeks in summer to reconnect with family and friends in South Korea. With the exception of the high smog in Seoul, we had a delightful time immersing ourselves in the beauty of the people, culture, and nature. For myself, in both my connection to South Korea through my wife, and with my business endeavors there over the years, I truly feel like an adopted son of the country.
Unfortunately, when it comes to adoption of one of Korea’s beautiful children, ourselves and countless other mixed-heritage couples from around the world do not feel the same sense of welcome. And that is harmful to the futures of those children and the country’s reputation as a welcoming nation in the global community.
The United States has always been a country filled with hopeful couples who have looked to other countries to adopt a young infant or toddler. And it has become more difficult to adopt from any country, an unintended consequence of badly-needed coordinated global efforts to curb human trafficking. But in Korea, the problem has been amplified after western media reported somewhat tastelessly that one of South Korea’s biggest exports was its unwanted children. And in South Korea, it is the norm to have the strong tradition of family lineage being a guiding force of a person’s life and career trajectory.
As an American, that has been a value that has been difficult for me to grasp, especially as I myself am the grandchild of eastern European immigrants who came to America with little more than aspiration for they and their children’s future. But even I understand to be respectful of that tradition.
In the past, there was certainly the opening of opportunity for western families to adopt, particularly when one of the parents is of Korean origin. This was the original impetus for Jakyung and I to consider adopting from South Korea. However, when the negative press on the prolific adopting of children from Korea occurred, simultaneously there was also an outcry from some adults who had been adopted as children over the lack of information on the birth mother, leading to a registry process being created.
This registration could have had the best of intentions in its enactment, but it also increased the rate of abandoned babies, as single mothers then have more difficulties in society. The BBC reported in 2015 that the tightening of the regulations has led to a saturation at orphanages.
Now the preference is for overseas adoption to be granted to parents who are both of Korean origin. Again, some of the intention is sound -- that being the child having a greater probability of connection to their culture. But that ideal doesn’t take into the consideration the psyche of the prospective American parent. Most parents I know who have adopted have been hyper sensitive of introducing the truths and realities of the child’s background in a progressive and caring manner during the child’s growth.
Understanding heritage and culture is a part of the beautiful fabric of the American existence -- and it truly is a blanket of warmth for the thousands of adopted children who have thrived in the US as they became adults.
One way to address the orphanage program is to address the taboo on adopting within Korea. That is absolutely the right first step -- if children have the chance to find a loving adoptive family in the country, then all resources must be dedicated to its fulfillment.
But a logical next step is to reinstitute a safe and sound policy that allows mixed-heritage couples the chance to adopt from within the country. And by safe and sound I mean regulations like the prospective parent’s age and body mass index should be reviewed as to whether that is an effective tool to ensure success (the US does not have such stringent requirements for domestic adoption).
On my last full day of being in Korea on vacation in 2016, we paid a visit to a small orphanage in Jakyung’s hometown. I was expecting to see a dire situation, but instead we both fell in love with this “little orphanage that could.” On an absolute shoestring budget, the children were well dressed, healthy, polite, and surrounded by loving and caring staff that will be their guardian angels throughout their development, all while housed in a homey environment.
But it is getting harder and harder to maintain that environment throughout all of Korea’s orphanages. In this time where the Korean people have had too many disappointments in their leadership, a bridge of compassion to the rest of the world can be rebuilt by recreating opportunity for the children that need that opportunity the most. In order to do this, restrictions for overseas adoption must be loosened.
By Eric Planey
Eric Planey is an international banker based in New York. The opinions expressed here are solely of the author, and not his current or past employers or any organizations he is affiliated with. – Ed.
