As many of my friends and family members know, I talk a lot about death. Sometimes about my own, but I also remind others of their mortality. I even work it into my classes when I talk about life tables and life expectancies. This topic is not welcome by anyone I know, but I can’t help myself. Still, I believe that thinking about our individual mortality can be useful to our lives, even if it is morbid.

During the past week, there has been so much news of death, so this topic is on my mind even more than usual. On Dec. 29, 2024, Jeju Air Flight 7C2216 arriving at Muan, Korea, from Bangkok crashed and 179 people tragically lost their lives. In the US, on Dec. 29, 2024, former US President Jimmy Carter passed away at age 100. On New Year’s Eve, I learned of three deaths on a single day -- one was my friend from my 20s and two were family friends.

President Carter was viewed by many Americans favorably, especially after his presidency. However, what I didn’t know about him -- until after reading an article in the New York Times -- was that he frequently talked about death. One quote of his really struck me. He said, “If our doctors tell us that we have a terminal illness and can expect to live only another year, or five years, how would we respond? In fact, we confront exactly the same question if we are healthy and have a life expectancy of 15 or 20 more years.”

One way to think about one’s mortality is thinking about the number of weeks or months you might have left. There are online apps for this purpose. I’ve actually calculated the number of hours I might have to live by multiplying 16 hours (not counting the 8 hours one is asleep) by 365 by the years remaining of my life expectancy. Trust me, this is not a big number when you are my age. Even for you, it’s probably a much smaller number than you imagine. Of course, all of these calculations assume one reaches the average life expectancy. Not all of us will.

According to the Social Security Administration, in the US, a 40-year-old male has a life expectancy of 36.6. This doesn’t mean that every 40-year-old man can expect to live to 76.6. Rather, it means that just over half will make it to 76.6 or beyond. The other half will have already died by that age.

Most of us are so busy in our day-to-day lives, and we spend much of our time worrying about minutiae. The future is where our bold and abstract plans go. We talk about the amazing meals, life-changing trips or career goals that we’ll have in the unforeseeable future. We tell ourselves that as soon as we reach Goal A, we’ll reward ourselves with Treat X. As soon as I achieve Goal B, then I’ll be able to be happy and content. When I have Y won or dollars, then I’ll be rich.

However, I think we should apply the urgency we feel for our daily and weekly errands to thinking about our lives in finite terms. People spend more time thinking about what they will eat for dinner or watch on Netflix than they do their estate planning. No one wants to spend time planning for their eventual demise.

OK, now I am being morbid. I truly believe that it helps to remember that life is finite, because one is less likely to waste one’s time. If you thought you had just a year left, what would you do? Think about who you would enjoy spending your time with -- these individuals should be the people you prioritize seeing in the coming year or more. If you can’t decide how to spend your money, think about whether you would rather buy that designer handbag and luxury watch or spend it on a trip with your friends or partner if you had one year to live. How often would you choose work obligations over family time if you only had one year remaining?

While this lesson is very difficult for people to learn, I think the earlier we face our mortality, the happier we will be. If I had one or forty years remaining, I would be happier if I spent the majority of my one or forty years with people I like. People also report that they derive more happiness from experiences (such as travel) than from purchases (like handbags). Once we understand that time is truly finite, we will be better able to spend our time thoughtfully rather than frivolously. Remember, you can always make more money, but you cannot make more time.

Grace Kao

Grace Kao is an IBM professor of sociology and professor of ethnicity, race and migration at Yale University. The views expressed here are the writer’s own. -- Ed.